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Coffee 11:02 Mon May 6
Aeroplane toilet seats

Is there any item of simple engineering design so infuriating and unfit for purpose as the toilet seat on a 21st century aeroplane? Lift the thing and begin pissing and all is fine. But then it starts to softly close. By that time, though, it's too late to suspend your flow, so you have to bend down mid-stream in an attempt to grab the seat and pull it back up. That causes your head to bang against the wall, which in turn causes your other hand, the one giving direction to the flow, to move suddenly resulting in a dramatic alteration in said direction. If you have an iota of decency, you will be obliged to clean up the mess with whatever paper towels previous users may have left. And if there are none, you will leave the cubicle with as innocent an expression as you can muster, tutting and mumbling at the state of the bogs as you pass the next user. All because of the pneumatic toilet seat with a mind of its own.

joyo 2:25 Thu May 9
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

What a shit thread

chevy chase 12:32 Thu May 9
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Flown Business class from Sydney to Hong Kong a few times with Cathay Pacific and they actually come in and wipe your arse after you deposit.

Cheezey Bell-End 4:30 Wed May 8
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Never flown business short haul, but numerous times long haul. The toilets are relatively lightly used and a crew member goes in after to scrub away any any skidmarks after each use.
Then again, the same people prepare the food..

Coffee 2:42 Wed May 8
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Lee Trundle 2:33 Wed May 8

Chartering? That's a pleb's game. You'll want at least one in the garage.

Coffee 2:42 Wed May 8
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Lee Trundle 2:33 Wed May 8

Chartering? That's a pleb's game. You'll want at least one in the garage.

Lee Trundle 2:33 Wed May 8
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

You've got to be an absolute mug to pay to sit in business class flying in Europe.

BA basically makes the middle seat a table and they'll charge you shit loads more for it.

You want to get yourself round to chartering a private jet, if you wanted to come on here and show off, Swiss.

Swiss. 2:31 Wed May 8
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Yes the ones are tight I hear but I’m always in business class loo. You know the ones the pilots use.

nychammer 6:10 Tue May 7
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

The modern planes have no touch flush and taps.

The most filthy bit of all must be the where you have to put your thumb on the button to turn on the tap

On The Ball 6:00 Tue May 7
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

What annoys me more is when the flush is behind the seat. It's bad enough I have to touch the button, I don't want to touch the seat lid too - why isn't there a pedal to push with your foot?

nychammer 5:56 Tue May 7
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

well, to be fair as soon as you've pinched off you need to flush or it could end up being horrific. Have to ensure you aren't making a seal so as to avoid the 'suction' effect.

Personally only ever #2'd on a plane once, try to avoid it at all costs.

yngwies Cat 5:37 Tue May 7
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

😆 Who gold..sucked down an airplane kazi..

Cheezey Bell-End 7:49 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

I remember when a fat guy, who wasn't me, flushed while he was still sitting on it and the pressure sucked him down into the seat. He had to call for the crew to help him unwedge his arse.

joyo 6:23 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Manuel 11.54...you big girl's blouse 👚

stewey 6:22 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Did you try wiping your knob on it

Cheezey Bell-End 6:06 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Either sit down to piss, or piss in the wash basin.

Chip Shop Charlie 5:14 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

It's 2024...persons with penises should always sit when weeing

Manuel 11:54 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Dunno about the seats, but the noise the flush makes still scares the shit out of me.

Justin P 11:47 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

First World problems

Far Cough 11:38 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

Sit down to have a slash, simples.

happygilmore 11:20 Mon May 6
Re: Aeroplane toilet seats

I manage not to use toilets on planes. Germ infested pods.

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